What’s up, gang?

    Let me start by saying that, if you are a comic geek and haven’t read Preacher yet, then what the f@#$ are you doing here?

    Seriously.   Leave the computer and immediately find a copy, so that you can begin to devour it. No joke.  Preacher is my favorite comic book ever. I’ve never been able to decide on a favorite book or a favorite movie, but Preacher is my favorite comic book without a doubt. It's the one that I would grab if my whole collection was on fire; (comic geeks have to think about things like this). It's something I could read over and over and never get tired of it. When you read this book, it plays out like an epic, big-budget movie with a story so sick, twisted, deep, and touching, that it is miles beyond what is currently available on acclaimed networks like HBO, FX, and Showtime. The story of “Jesse Custer” and his mission to find an absent God (that needs to be held accountable for his actions) is wonderfully crafted by writer Garth Ennis. Steve Dillon’s art is spot on with every panel he drew. Together, they manage to take us on a journey that examines religion, patriotism, friendship, love, and betrayal, all without ever, ironically, being preachy. And, there's a vampire that doesn't sparkle and loves his whiskey! If we were still sacrificing goats here at OLC, I would be doing so on a Preacher-themed alter! Kudos!

    Anyway, here we are in 2011, and the Preacher movie is on its way with D.J. Caruso at the helm. As everyone knows, it has always been Hollywood’s habit to f@#$ things up. After some recent casting news caused us to lose faith in Mr. Caruso’s casting abilities (Alex Pettyfer as The Saint of All Killers???), the OLC staff decided to create our own ultimate Preacher cast. Some of our choices may seem odd, but we’re confident in every actor’s ability to master the role.

    Now, the only thing to worry about is the script. By the way, can one of you pass this cast list on to Mr. Caruso? I am way too busy to do it.

-Bryant

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever:  I don’t remember the first time that I watched Timothy Olyphant, but I certainly remember the charisma that he brought to the screen.  The only concern that I have is his Southern dialect, but it seemed to improve throughout the course of Deadwood.

Bryant : I'm convinced that Olyphant is one of the few actors that can encompass everything that “Jesse Custer” must be. Given his past roles in Deadwood, Die Hard 4, The Girl Next Door, and the upcoming remake of The Crazies among others, Olyphant is equal parts leading man and bad-ass villain and has a habit of playing even his most heroic characters with an undercurrent of danger and menace. With his charming nature, I think Olyphant can easily make the guys want to hang with him and the ladies swoon all without losing the edge needed to be “Jesse Custer.” His acting choices have always been unique in my opinion, and I'm sure he could easily fill what is a large set of shoes. Other have mentioned Johnny Depp (too old) and James Franco (too pretty), but my money is on Olyphant.

Bryant : With his pale skin, slightly unnerving gaze, and Irish roots, Cillian Murphy is a good choice. He also is someone who could bring the subtle sliminess that “Cassidy” requires. I really can't get my mind off the perfect image of Murphy as “Cassidy,” finally taking off his shades and revealing the horrific eyes beneath. Back in the day, I might have mentioned Sean Patrick Flannery for this role, but after seeing what he looked like in Boondock Saints 2, I think the boat has sailed on that one.

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: Murphy has proved time and again that he has an incredible acting range, which can easily encompass the role of “Cassidy.”  Even when playing a villain, he possesses a likability that enables him to escape sticky situations.  This will definitely come in handy with this role.

Bryant : I have yet to see her play a character as tough as “Tulip,” but she always seems like a capable actress and seems to physically match the look of the character. This excites me mainly because we get to see “Tulip” do some pretty f#$%ed-up shit, especially when her man, “Jesse,” is in trouble. I am totally ready to see Rachel McAdams get some blood on her hands and smash her soft screen image! I'm also totally ready to see Rachel McAdams in some of the hot-as-hell love scenes and not just to see a little bit of her ass. Most of “Jesse” and “Tulip's” love scenes are very erotic and very real. I think McAdams can serve both sides without making it seem like a porno or a date movie, although a lot of that rests in your hands, Mr. Mendes! McAdams has also previously worked with Cillian Murphy in Red Eye, so that’s a plus too.

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: I’m sure that Sam will espouse the casting of Battlestar Gallactica’s Katee Sackhoff, but don’t let him fool you.  “Tulip” must be tough yet feminine.  Sackhoff can certainly pack a punch, but I wouldn’t quite call her a delicate flower.  I believe that McAdams could walk the line between the two.

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: Seriously?  I have to pick between Vito Ferraro and James Franco?

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: While Michael Biehn was sexy as hell in Aliens and The Terminator, sadly, time has taken its toll on him.  After seeing him in Planet Terror, I have no doubt that he could carry the role of “Sheriff Root.”

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever:  I have always enjoyed the physicality and humor that Meloni brings to each role, but, for some reason, I am beginning to have doubts regarding the casting.  “Jody” is a larger than life character, and I wonder if someone like Eric Allan Kramer might be better suited for the role.  With regarding to Jackie Earle Haley, there is not a doubt in my mind that he would be a terrific “T.C.”

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: I am a bit leery to cast a star as hyped as Johnny Depp, but he could easily fill the role of “John Custer.”  Baccarin always brings a quiet elegance to her characters, but don’t let that fool you.  She can take care of her own.

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: While I don’t doubt Weaver’s acting abilities, I feel somewhat strange about this casting.  It’s almost as if I feel bad for casting such a beautiful actress as an evil creature who is uglier than sin.

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever:  Hackman in Unforgiven. That’s all that I have to say.

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: Who doesn’t love Alan Rickman?!  He could recite from the phone book, and I would be wildly entertained.

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever:  I will always have a soft spot for Willem Dafoe.  While his immense acting abilities are not necessary for “The Allfather,” it will be a fun and easy character for him.

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: Since Jeff Bridges convinced me to buy a Hyundai (and I love it so much), I figured that I owed him one.

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: Does this actually need an explanation?

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: I feel as though I could have given the casting for these characters more time.  They are integral to the story, and these actors would be great, but I can’t help feeling as though other actors might bring more to the roles. 

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: Shimerman is a great character actor, and his previous roles demonstrate his abilities.  I always enjoy Julianne Moore.  She is very underused these days, and I feel as though she is one of the stronger actresses on film.

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever:  I wonder what she would look like bald…

The Coolest Geek Girl Ever: I loathe everything that is Dax Shepard.  In all reality, we could just film him in daily life, and we would be able to capture the essence of “The Messiah.”

Bryant : After seeing  James Franco in Pineapple Express, I feel he could easily play the lonely, Nirvana-obsessed son of “Sheriff Root” before he takes a shot gun shell to the face. All he has to do is swing a more serious take on his stoner character from the Apatow film. Could he master the physicality of the role in order to act through the necessary extensive prosthetics for “Arseface's” later condition? Who knows. That's why my answer is Vito Ferraro. Not only does his status as an unknown balance out some of the huge salaries of the other actors on this list, but he introduced me to Preacher, and for this I will be forever grateful. So, here's the Hollywood machine at work! Paying off a debt by casting a friend in a big-budget blockbuster role! Now, I'm doing cocaine off Lady Ga Ga's

ass!!! 

Seriously though, Vito is a fine actor and a hard core comic book fan. He's got my vote. Also, his face kind of looks like an ass, so that helps.

Bryant : I'm always happy to see Michael Biehn in something! I've been endeared with him as an actor, having grown up watching his two iconic roles as soldiers of the future, “Cpl. Dwayne Hicks” in Aliens and “Sgt. Kyle Reese” in The Terminator. “Sheriff Root” is a foul mouthed, hate-filled racist and an interesting stretch for Biehn. While no where close to the character of “Sheriff Root,” Biehn's villainous role in The Abyss gives me the feeling that he'd relish the chance to play such a despicable character. Also, in the picture above an to the right, Biehn totally looks to me like the kind of aged, hard-ass, tough guy that would rather shoot himself dead than live with the punishment that “Jesse” delivers upon him.  

Bryant : Both of these actors are fantastic, and I think they are unusual but great choices. Meloni's comedic side is sure to add the charismatic menace that “Jody” must have. I have no doubt that he would eat up the role! Have you seen how tall and ripped this guy is??? He must be reading Preacher book two in his basement while doing push ups!!! That's it!!! Maybe ripping phone books in half!!! But nothing else!!! Along with Haley as the perverse and violent “T.C.,” these two actors would be the perfect villains you'd love to hate. And that's what you need, because when “Jesse” finally steps up and takes on “Jodie,” we all know it will be bloody...and that's what we want at that point...that's what we need!!!

Bryant :  I feel like “Jesse's” parents have a certain class to them, and you could say the same about both Depp and Baccarin. Obviously, Depp is a little over exposed lately and way too expensive, but I think he'd be the perfect "ideal father" for “Jesse.” “John Custer” also has quite a meaty background when you get to his stories of ‘Nam, and how cool would it for big movie star Depp to shock the audience by getting shot in the head on his first appearance on screen?! Something in me says Depp would dig the role and the subversive nature of the story. Baccarin is an actress who deserves more chances to shine and has the inner strength and dignity of “Christina Custer.” Hopefully, her old age make-up will look slightly better then the stuff in Watchmen, but, honestly, that doesn't matter, if the performance is solid.

Bryant : I love this!!! Weaver is a powerhouse in the acting department and another actor who doesn't get to play the villain nearly enough! “Gran'ma” is one evil, heartless bitch, and I think Weaver would shine in this role, scaring the mass away from old people for years to come. Weaver also has an aristocratic bone structure that serves the look of “Gran'ma,” and, unlike Franco above, I believe she could easily act through the make-up necessary to turn her in to “Gran'ma.” 

Bryant : It's not really necessary to even cast this role. In these post-Avatar days, a performer could be body mapped and digitally made to look like “Jesse's” apparition of “The Duke.” This is made even easier by the fact that “The Duke's” face is always covered in shadow. But, for the hell of it, we picked Gene Hackman. He has experience in cowboy boots and a similar build. Here's hoping he can do a decent version of Wayne!

Bryant : Perfect-O!!! Rickman is a master at playing villains, and this is a role he could certainly sink his teeth into! He also has the ability to get more pissed than would seem humanly possible, and that fits perfectly with “Starr's” character.  “Starr” is taken apart piece by piece during his crusade against “Jesse Custer.”  I also think that Rickman would go perfectly with our next choice. It's called chemistry, people. I will throw out an honorable mention to Daniel Day-Lewis as a possible second choice.

Bryant : I can just see Dafoe's scrunched face surrounded by the huge prosthetic head of “The Allfather.”  Dafoe always delivers in the performance ring and is willing to take on bizarre and unsettling roles; both which describe “The Allfather.”  As I stated before, Dafoe will also play well across from Rickman as “Herr Starr.”

Bryant : I think they'll have to use CGI for the image of this beaming, illuminated character, but the presence of Bridges will seal the deal. Bridges has continued to deliver solid performances over the years and can inhabit both the careless nature of “God” and the wrath of the All Mighty. Think “The Dude” from The Big Lebowski meets “Obadiah Stane” from Iron Man.

Bryant : Eastwood is a no brainer. It's a long shot in actual casting, but then so is much of this list. I'm sure that much of Eastwood's work in westerns inspired this character, and I feel there is no one better than the original gun slinger. I mean, come on! Doesn't he look like the kind of guy who would shoot God in the face?

Bryant : Both of these actors are great on their own, so I can only imagine that they would be great together as the duo of “Featherstone” and “Hoover.” Ejiofor would have some massive physical demands for the role, given the fact that he goes from plump to near skeletal over the course of a few story arcs. Gyllenhaal would shine as the quirky Grail operative with a flame burning constantly for “Herr Starr.” He, of course, couldn't give a shit.

Bryant : Shimerman has been great in both Star Trek: Deep Space Nine as the scheming “Ferengi Quark” and Buffy The Vampire Slayer as the despicable, power-hungry “Principal Snyder,” so how great would it be to see him as the meat-loving “Odin?” A racist and KKK member, “Odin” is another character that you love to hate, and Shimerman excels in this department. Julianne Moore's “Maude Lebowski” is just a few steps from the S&M fetishist and neo-nazi “Miss Oatlash.” Also, she looks good in heels.

Bryant : Rosario Dawson is quickly becoming a genre standard, but in reality, is there anything she doesn't possess for this role? She can play tough with the guys and stands on her own just like “Daggett,” and, as an additional plus, she's a comic book geek. Also, she's a hottie and looks great in a dress; the perfect element to tempt  “Jesse” just enough.

Bryant : Spot on. We should sign him first and build the rest of the cast from that. I only fear we'll be Punk’d on set. While I can deal with Dax on his own, if Ashton Kutcher shows up, the s%$# is going down. Honestly though, Dax is a great guy to play an inbred fool who pisses and s$%ts on himself.